i love being in the company of fellow dreamers. sometimes i feel these are the only people who ''get me.''
up to this point, excluding my solo trip to europe, i've been a pretty straight-laced, safe girl that's done everything the way i was supposed to. i went to college right after high school, graduated, got a 'grown-up' job, worked it for 2 yrs, then suddenly, i woke up one day and thought, ''there's got to be something more than this.'' out of nowhere i wanted to leave my job and move to california to pursue the dream. no, i didn't want to be an actress amongst the droves of wanna-bes. i just wanted to stop living so safely, take some risk, and learn to just go with the wind, instead of mapping out every detail of the standard 5 year plan. MY SOUL WAS (and still is) HUNGRY!!
life is short and the world is huge. i'm a traveler. i love seeing and learning about new places. i love novelty and things that are different. i want more than just ok. i want to feel like i conquered something. i want to go to sleep at night knowing that i tried something that scared me, that to others seems ridiculous, and succeeded. my urge to flee is on notch 11, and maybe it's just because i haven't yet started to establish things that are my own. but the fact remains, i don't know if i will ever totally let go of my california dream, and the only way to know for sure is to go.
the bottome line is i don't have a single clue about life right now. i have no idea what i want to do, i can't seem to figure out how to get to where i want to be, i just feel stuck. and stagnant. and lost. most of 2009 and 2010 have been filled with depression and anxiety. i'm just another lost girl trying to find my way...
to all you dreamers, THANK YOU! you are an inspiration and a huge motivational force that keep this dream of mine alive.
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