Thursday, March 24, 2011
a first.
came super close to getting in an accident today cause of the stupid snow. on my way down to work, the exit i get off the palisades was covered in icy, slushy mess and i just skidded out of control around the turn. fishtailed, turned sideways, then jumped the curb and stopped just a couple feet short of the tree line. scary shit. had to take a few minutes to just breathe and re-group. i was able to just drive away though so at least everything was ok. i was shaken up all day today. that's the closest i've ever been to an accident. *knock on wood.* definitely looking forward to sunshiny cali in may or at least for it to seem like spring here ;)
Monday, March 21, 2011
status: accepted!
officially accepted into the comm disorders program at new paltz!!
i'm hoping to start my first classes at the end of may.
but not before another trip to CALI in the beginning of the month!!!!
and this time, matt's coming with =)
i'm hoping to start my first classes at the end of may.
but not before another trip to CALI in the beginning of the month!!!!
and this time, matt's coming with =)
Friday, March 11, 2011
THE GLASS:
...what is it to you? had to share this.
cor, i think you'll get a kick out of this. especially the ones in bold, they're my faves. i thought of some of them myself.
- The optimist says the glass is half full.
- The pessimist says the glass is half empty.
- The project manager says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
- The realist says the glass contains half the required amount of liquid for it to overflow, so just calm down.
- The cynic wonders who drank the other half.
- The school teacher says it's not about whether the glass is half empty or half full, it's whether there is something in the glass at all.
- The alcoholic says it's not about whether the glass is half full or half empty, it's about who is paying for the next round.
- The one-upper says, "That's not my glass, mine was way bigger."
- The professional trainer does not care if the glass is half full or half empty, he just knows that starting the discussion will give him ten minutes to figure out why his powerpoint presentation is not working.
- The mother of a five-year-old says sweetheart it's whatever you want it to be.
- The consultant says let's examine the question, prepare a strategy for an answer, and all for a daily rate of...
- The inquisitive troublemaker wants to know what's in the glass anyhow... and wants the rest of it.
- The homemaker sees the dirty glass, washes it, then dries it.
- The homebuilder sees does the above, then puts it away in a custom oak and etched glass cabinet that he built himself using only hand tools.
- The worrier frets that the remaining half will evaporate by next morning.
- The fanatic thinks the glass is completely full, even though it isn't.
- The entrepreneur sees the glass as undervalued by half its potential.
- The computer specialist says that next year the glass capacity will double, be half the price, but cost you 50% more for me to give you the answer.
- The first engineer says the glass is over-designed for the quantity of water.
- The second engineer says (when the half is tainted) he's glad he put the other half in a redundant glass.
- The indecisive says the glass is full-empty.
- The Buddhist says don't worry, remember the glass is already broken.
- The logician says that where the glass is in process of being filled then it is half full; where it is in the process of being emptied then it is half empty; and where its status in terms of being filled or emptied is unknown then the glass is one in which a boundary between liquid and gas lies exactly midway between the inside bottom and the upper rim, assuming that the glass has parallel sides and rests on a level surface, and where it does not then the liquid/gas boundary lies exactly midway between the upper and lower equal halves of the available total volume of said glass.
- The scientist says a guess based on a visual cue is inaccurate, so mark the glass at the bottom of the meniscus of the content, pour the content into a bigger glass; fill the empty glass with fresh content up to the mark; add the original content back in; if the combined content overflows the lip, the glass was more than half full; if it doesn't reach the top, the glass was more than half empty; if it neither overflows nor fails to reach the top then it was either half-full or half-empty. Now what was the question again?
- The obsessive compulsive postpones the question until the level is checked, and checked again, and again, and again...
- The life coach knows that the glass goes from full to empty depending on the circumstances, and reminds the drinker that he can always fill the glass when he wishes.
- The grammarian says that while the terms half-full and half-empty are colloquially acceptable, the glass can technically be neither since both full and empty are absolute states and therefore are incapable of being halved or modified in any way.
- The auditor first checks whether the empty half is material and then designs the audit procedures to obtain sufficient evidence to conclude that the glass is indeed empty.
- The waiter will hurry to replace the glass with a full one. For him there are no doubts: the glass was empty when he took it away; it is full in the bill that he brings you.
- The magician will show you the glass with the full half at the top.
- The physician AND the philosopher say that the glass is not empty at all - it is half-filled with water and half-filled with air - hence, fully filled on the whole.
- The psychiatrist would ask you, "Is the half-empty/half-full glass really that important? I mean... really? Think about it. If fact, let's not. Let's set that particular issue aside for a few moments and talk about why it's bothering you in the first place."
- The musician says he/she is unimpressed with the promoter of the concert for not providing more alcohol to fill the glass.
- The ineffective Executive team would discuss the question during the board of directors meeting, convene a committee to research the problem, and assign tasks for a root cause analysis, usually without a complete explanation of the problem to those assigned the tasks. The directors would consider the problem to be above the pay grade of those assigned root cause analysis tasks.
- The dog just wonders: can he eat the glass or will you throw it so he can bring it back.
- The cat wonders why the glass is only half full (or empty)... is it a trick... poison perhaps...
- The optimistic eccentric would say the glass is consistently overflowing in order to make room for more liquid.
- The neurotic says, GLASS?! WHAT GLASS?! No one said anything to me about any glass! I guess it's just up to me to figure out what's in the glass now! Thanks a lot, glass!
- The person who just came out of The Matrix says, "There is no glass..."
- The student says the glass is just another dirty trick played by the teacher to prove that students are dumb.
- The researcher says that following initial observation and testing a working hypothesis for further research is: "The glass is both half full and half empty," and that these findings warrant further investigation with a more representative sample of glasses and contents, which may or may not be liquid.
- The algebraic simultaneous equation theorist says that if the glass is equally half full and half empty, then half full = half empty; therefore ½ x F = ½ x E; therefore (by multiplying both sides of the equation by 2) we show that F = E; i.e. Full equals Empty!
- The efficiency analyst says the glass is operating substantially below optimization level, being consistently exactly 50% under-utilized during the period of assessment, corresponding to an over-resourcing in meeting demand equating to precisely 200% of requisite capacity in volume terms, not accounting for seasonal trends and shrinkage, and that if the situation continues there is in theory opportunity for savings or expansion.
- The phobic says yuck, someone drank out of it and left their germs on the glass.
- The salesman will convince you that even though the glass is half empty, you are getting more than your money's worth compared to buying a full glass. The full glass is less expensive because of the economies of producing a common standard version in big quantities, whereas the more expensive half represents much better value because it is more exclusive and better quality, very hard to come by and greatly sought after.
- The customer service rep will agree with you that the glass is half full/empty, and they will do anything in their power to fill the glass up at no extra cost. However, after a full investigation you will be informed that you mistakenly received a half full/empty glass since you only paid for a quarter. You therefore received a half full/empty glass at the price of a quarter-full/three-quarters empty glass. You should consider yourself very lucky, and that any further complaints might result in your having to return the half full/empty glass at your own cost, with no guarantee of any refund.
- Jesus says, "THY CUP RUNNETH OVER IF SUCH QUESTIONING MY WILL CONTINUES."
cor, i think you'll get a kick out of this. especially the ones in bold, they're my faves. i thought of some of them myself.
- The optimist says the glass is half full.
- The pessimist says the glass is half empty.
- The project manager says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
- The realist says the glass contains half the required amount of liquid for it to overflow, so just calm down.
- The cynic wonders who drank the other half.
- The school teacher says it's not about whether the glass is half empty or half full, it's whether there is something in the glass at all.
- The alcoholic says it's not about whether the glass is half full or half empty, it's about who is paying for the next round.
- The one-upper says, "That's not my glass, mine was way bigger."
- The professional trainer does not care if the glass is half full or half empty, he just knows that starting the discussion will give him ten minutes to figure out why his powerpoint presentation is not working.
- The mother of a five-year-old says sweetheart it's whatever you want it to be.
- The consultant says let's examine the question, prepare a strategy for an answer, and all for a daily rate of...
- The inquisitive troublemaker wants to know what's in the glass anyhow... and wants the rest of it.
- The homemaker sees the dirty glass, washes it, then dries it.
- The homebuilder sees does the above, then puts it away in a custom oak and etched glass cabinet that he built himself using only hand tools.
- The worrier frets that the remaining half will evaporate by next morning.
- The fanatic thinks the glass is completely full, even though it isn't.
- The entrepreneur sees the glass as undervalued by half its potential.
- The computer specialist says that next year the glass capacity will double, be half the price, but cost you 50% more for me to give you the answer.
- The first engineer says the glass is over-designed for the quantity of water.
- The second engineer says (when the half is tainted) he's glad he put the other half in a redundant glass.
- The indecisive says the glass is full-empty.
- The Buddhist says don't worry, remember the glass is already broken.
- The logician says that where the glass is in process of being filled then it is half full; where it is in the process of being emptied then it is half empty; and where its status in terms of being filled or emptied is unknown then the glass is one in which a boundary between liquid and gas lies exactly midway between the inside bottom and the upper rim, assuming that the glass has parallel sides and rests on a level surface, and where it does not then the liquid/gas boundary lies exactly midway between the upper and lower equal halves of the available total volume of said glass.
- The scientist says a guess based on a visual cue is inaccurate, so mark the glass at the bottom of the meniscus of the content, pour the content into a bigger glass; fill the empty glass with fresh content up to the mark; add the original content back in; if the combined content overflows the lip, the glass was more than half full; if it doesn't reach the top, the glass was more than half empty; if it neither overflows nor fails to reach the top then it was either half-full or half-empty. Now what was the question again?
- The obsessive compulsive postpones the question until the level is checked, and checked again, and again, and again...
- The life coach knows that the glass goes from full to empty depending on the circumstances, and reminds the drinker that he can always fill the glass when he wishes.
- The grammarian says that while the terms half-full and half-empty are colloquially acceptable, the glass can technically be neither since both full and empty are absolute states and therefore are incapable of being halved or modified in any way.
- The auditor first checks whether the empty half is material and then designs the audit procedures to obtain sufficient evidence to conclude that the glass is indeed empty.
- The waiter will hurry to replace the glass with a full one. For him there are no doubts: the glass was empty when he took it away; it is full in the bill that he brings you.
- The magician will show you the glass with the full half at the top.
- The physician AND the philosopher say that the glass is not empty at all - it is half-filled with water and half-filled with air - hence, fully filled on the whole.
- The psychiatrist would ask you, "Is the half-empty/half-full glass really that important? I mean... really? Think about it. If fact, let's not. Let's set that particular issue aside for a few moments and talk about why it's bothering you in the first place."
- The musician says he/she is unimpressed with the promoter of the concert for not providing more alcohol to fill the glass.
- The ineffective Executive team would discuss the question during the board of directors meeting, convene a committee to research the problem, and assign tasks for a root cause analysis, usually without a complete explanation of the problem to those assigned the tasks. The directors would consider the problem to be above the pay grade of those assigned root cause analysis tasks.
- The dog just wonders: can he eat the glass or will you throw it so he can bring it back.
- The cat wonders why the glass is only half full (or empty)... is it a trick... poison perhaps...
- The optimistic eccentric would say the glass is consistently overflowing in order to make room for more liquid.
- The neurotic says, GLASS?! WHAT GLASS?! No one said anything to me about any glass! I guess it's just up to me to figure out what's in the glass now! Thanks a lot, glass!
- The person who just came out of The Matrix says, "There is no glass..."
- The student says the glass is just another dirty trick played by the teacher to prove that students are dumb.
- The researcher says that following initial observation and testing a working hypothesis for further research is: "The glass is both half full and half empty," and that these findings warrant further investigation with a more representative sample of glasses and contents, which may or may not be liquid.
- The algebraic simultaneous equation theorist says that if the glass is equally half full and half empty, then half full = half empty; therefore ½ x F = ½ x E; therefore (by multiplying both sides of the equation by 2) we show that F = E; i.e. Full equals Empty!
- The efficiency analyst says the glass is operating substantially below optimization level, being consistently exactly 50% under-utilized during the period of assessment, corresponding to an over-resourcing in meeting demand equating to precisely 200% of requisite capacity in volume terms, not accounting for seasonal trends and shrinkage, and that if the situation continues there is in theory opportunity for savings or expansion.
- The phobic says yuck, someone drank out of it and left their germs on the glass.
- The salesman will convince you that even though the glass is half empty, you are getting more than your money's worth compared to buying a full glass. The full glass is less expensive because of the economies of producing a common standard version in big quantities, whereas the more expensive half represents much better value because it is more exclusive and better quality, very hard to come by and greatly sought after.
- The customer service rep will agree with you that the glass is half full/empty, and they will do anything in their power to fill the glass up at no extra cost. However, after a full investigation you will be informed that you mistakenly received a half full/empty glass since you only paid for a quarter. You therefore received a half full/empty glass at the price of a quarter-full/three-quarters empty glass. You should consider yourself very lucky, and that any further complaints might result in your having to return the half full/empty glass at your own cost, with no guarantee of any refund.
- Jesus says, "THY CUP RUNNETH OVER IF SUCH QUESTIONING MY WILL CONTINUES."
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