eat, pray, love...what's the word?

what an amazing book. blows the lost girls completely out of the water. some passages for thought...

1)  ''when you sense a faint potentiality for happiness after dark times you must grab onto the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt. this is not selfishness, but obligation. you were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight.''

these past few days in california (after one particular BAD day), i've sought and found happiness in the little things. sitting on the beach and reading my book. strolling through the park and noticing a marriage proposal chalked on the rocks. finding someone's seaweed-and-shells heart-shaped creation on the beach in big sur. endless free samples of clam chowder walking through the wharf. the unbelievable friendliness of the supermarket employees here. watching a production of willy wonka in the forest guild community theater in carmel. appreciating so much the approach of fall back home as the halloween decorations are starting to come out.

it really is about the little things.

i've decided i have a theme song for this trip - ''take it to the limit, one more time.'' this is like my last hoorah before it's time to return home and hit the pavement figuring my life out. in case you didn't figure, i've decided i will not be moving to cali, and i decided this while IN cali, and i think that says a lot...

2)  ''don't you know that the secret to understanding a city and its people is to learn-- what is the word of the street? every city has a single word that defines it, that identifies most people who live there. if you could read people's thoughts as they were passing you on the streets of any given place, you would discover that most of them are thinking the same thought. if your personal word doesn't match the word of the city, then you don't really belong there. (rome = SEX. new york city = ACHIEVE. los angeles = SUCCEED.)

i think milton's word would be FAMILIAR, or perhaps, COMFORT. maybe that's just because it's home, and home is absolutely, and should be, comfortable and familiar. newburgh's (at this point in the city's history anyway) would be VIOLENCE. here in pacific grove, calif i'd say the word is either CHARM or SATISFACTION.

i haven't the slightest clue what my personal word is. i don't think i can have only one word (HAPPINESS, maybe, that's what i'm striving for at least), but rather i think i shall choose an entire lexicon.

what's the word in your city? better yet, what's your word?

a word from gandhi

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." - Gandhi

smart man.

going going back back to cali cali (and oregon)

here i go again. california on the brain. thinking crazy thoughts. ready to do stupid, risky things.


i'm going to stay with cori for 2 weeks to really hit the pavement and try to get a job out there. i want my cards to fall into place. so i'm doing what i can to try and make it happen. jess will be meeting me in monterey for a week then we'll head up to oregon together via magnificent highway 1. we'll stay in a super-cute cabin for a night then continue to portland for a week and a half then i'll head home after almost a month of being away. *i secretly hope jess falls in love with monterey =)

i'm looking forward to eggs benedict and rasberry-coconut pancakes. and green tea chai. the dramatic vistas of big sur. seeing my wife n hubby (i'm second wife). cori will be a hot new blonde when she picks me up - score! i just hope she's not a few rungs lower on the intelligence ladder =)

my horoscope today

''organize your day so you don't have time to think. anxiety will be the enemy, coupled with anyone trying to limit you or add to your responsibilities, including yourself. you shouldn't have any uncertainties about what you want to accomplish.''  HOT DAMN! so true.

i know i'm my own worst enemy. when i have too much time to sit around and just think about things, my mind quickly spirals out of control. i know it's time to do something, anything, for sanity's sake. for that reason, i'm giving this move-to-california thing one last push before it's time to take my ass to starbucks or woodbury commons and subject myself to retail-hell.

i'll be heading out to cali at the end of the month to really try and find a job. will post more about that shortly...ta-ta, xoox

**the pic is one i took at the hippy-esque art gallery attached to the big sur bakery that put a smirk on my face when i saw it. i can very much relate =) **

and THIS.....is Ammmerican Idol!!!

my friend halona and i decided to do something entirely different and go to the american idol season 10 auditions!! we both figured why not?! we think we can sing pretty well (though neither of us ''sing''), and we though it would be an awesome experience.

we headed to east rutherford, nj (izod center/giants stadium) last monday to get our wristbands to register then headed back on tuesday for the actual try-outs. WHAT A BIZARRE EXPERIENCE!! where do i even begin? (pics below)

we left new windsor @ 3am and got there around 6am. we immediately got in line and waited outside for about 2 hours. that was surprisingly fun because we met all sorts of people from all over the country. there were all these group song sessions where some random person would bust out with ''wonderwall'' on the guitar and soon enough, a mass of like 30 people were belting out ''i said maybe...you're gonna be the one that saves me.''

we went inside the arena around 8:30 and went right to our seats. the morning started with filming all of the episode introduction stuff you see on tv. ryan seacrest came out and filmed his parts. then we were told exactly what to say as one big group and instructed to cheer and go nuts when the producer gave us the cue. a past contestant, constantine maroulis, came out and gave the crowd a pep talk and led us all in 'bohemian rhapsody.' so fun and exciting!

auditions started around 10 and went alllllllllll day loooooong. we certainly learned the power of editing. on the show, where it looks like everyone comes out and sings for randy and co. then make it to hollywood, is not the case at all. this round was more of a pre-screening - we actually sang for 12 judges comprised of producers and vocal coaches and if selected to proceed, would have seen the same judges the following day in nyc. if you made it through that, then you'd be singing for the celebs sometime in the fall. so the show basically takes about 3 months of events and squeezes it into an hour-long episode.

the day was exhausting to say the least. we both got about an hour of sleep the night before and were just sitting around all day. we had tons of practice both alone in a section of bleachers and as part of a random group. we caught a few zzz's in our seats and paid $6 for a hot dog. after about 9 hrs of waiting it was finally our turn to go. surprisingly, i wasn't the least bit nervous. at that point, even the die-hards were more than willing to accept a NO since it meant they could go home and go to bed.

i sang ''extraordinary machine'' by fiona apple and halona sang ''brass in pocket'' by the pretenders. needless to say, we did not get any golden tickets, but it's totally ok because we both got the most amazing experience out of the whole thing! and also, they barely let anyone through. some of the most amazing voices i've ever heard were turned down. many people were angry because it seemed the only people they advanced were the weirdos that make for good television. i personally don't care because i never expected to make it. i just wanted to have a fun day doing something totally different. mission accomplished!

early start!

waiting...

girl on the left makes top 24, guaranteed.

17,000 people! largest audition in idol history!

waiting...

filming...

ryan...

judges...

no golden tickets here =(

a day at kleinfeld

last tuesday, mom and i headed into the city for the day to go to the blowout sale at kleinfeld, the largest bridal store in the world! they're the subject of one of our favorite shows on TLC, ''say yes to the dress.'' honestly, it's a bit high-brow for my normal taste, you pretty much can't get a dress there for less than 2k and to me that's just ridiculous, BUT... the blowout sale had dresses at up to 80% off, so it would have been possible to get a 3k dress for 600 bucks! that's too good a bargain for any bride-to-be to pass up.

we went right to the store to get our number which determined our place in line when they opened the doors at 3pm. i got 152 out of 400 girls who came in from all over the country! we had lunch, shopped around a bit, and what nyc day is complete without a starbucks detour?! we went back to the store at 2:30 and did nothing more than stand in line for 4 HOURS!! aside from a quick visit from randy and mom's bathroom run-in with nicole (both stars of the show and 2 of our favorites, btw), the line sucked. it was hot and my back and feet killed. we both agreed that if it had been any hotter and if we hadn't been privy to the line being in the shade, we would have said screw it.

for being such a big event, it was really organized and professional. any images of girls stomping on each other to get the dress of their dreams should be ignored. i had to share my fitting room with another girl who, of course, was a size 2 and 5'10, so that was comfortable =) i tried on about 10 dresses and ultimately, said no to the dress. it was super fun, but nothing screamed BUY ME!! i had only been shopping one other time so i think it's just too early to commit.

the day was just so fun for us. something new and different, and exciting! it was only appropriate for us to be part of the show that's brought us so many happy moments. overall, an awesome experience! here's a peak at the line. it ran the length of an entire street block and half an avenue block!